Shift Happens-and Google Maps Is Useless Here

This blog is for us.

The in-betweeners.

Not quite young, not quite old.

Let’s be honest. We thought we’d have it all figured out by now. But we don’t. We're still figuring it out, still learning how to grieve and grow and laugh—even when things feel sideways. For me, I choose to figure it out-out loud. For others, it is deeply personal. There is no wrong way to navigate it. Whatever works for you is right.

Today’s topic is the shift. Because, like the pop culture saying explains…it happens.

Shift Happens is about:

• Friendships that drifted, and the rare ones that deepened.

• The weird ache of midlife loss—of people, purpose, or identity.

• The humor and heartbreak of trying to reinvent yourselves while keeping everyone alive and the office open.

It’s also a friendly reminder that it’s perfectly okay:

·        To be in transition.

·        To be unsure.

·        To feel like you’re both falling apart and falling into something new.

I don’t have all the answers—but I do have stories...and a sense of humor. I bet you do, too.

Recently a friend sent me this meme. Are they even still calling them memes these days? I don’t know. Anyway, I immediately replied “LOL” (while literally laughing out loud to myself at the hilarity and accuracy of the image). I then excitedly warned her that I was going to use it in my blog, which she was supportive of.

While I sent the image to my email, so I wouldn’t forget to write about it, I had this huge smile on my face-you know the kind that stretches from ear to ear and makes the muscles in your cheeks ache?  

I was smiling so big because I had this vivid image of her painted in my mind, and in it I could see her very distinct laughing face and hear her mental commentary, as if I was there with her scrolling together and traveling down the rabbit hole of other similar nostalgia triggering content for us to cackle about.

I think the image of her in my mind was so clear because I know her- so well, so deeply, and for so very long. And she knows me too.

Since we were hiding under these bomb shelters together in fourth grade, our friendship has never shifted away, not for a moment…even though we rarely get to connect in person. Some friendships are meant to be part of you forever and, in those safe relationships, it doesn’t matter how you connect- or how often.

Other friendships might shift away from us all together, which is also okay. There is no sorrow in friendships that wane, because the impact is the important part. The value is in the depth of the experiences you share in your season together. Not how many seasons.

This one image, and the reflection it provoked, truly shifted my mindset. It forced me to truly think about what is different, and to find the positive messages in change. Life's transitions will always force us to change gears, adjust, re-route, accept, and adapt. And it isn’t a bad thing, it’s quite beautiful really. Transition invites us to shift…Our knowledge. Our perspectives. Our beliefs. Our priorities. Our values. Our focus.

Throughout our lives we are constantly reinventing ourselves. The rediscovery process, especially at the Gen Xers’ stage in life, is extra challenging. Because trying to reinvent yourself in midlife, while keeping everyone else alive and the office running, is like attempting a wardrobe change during a live stage performance—you’re stripping off old dingy roles behind a flimsy curtain, praying the spotlight doesn’t swing your way, while also directing the show, managing the snack table, and making sure no one sets anything on fire. But reinventing ourselves is a powerful tool and an incredible opportunity. And we get to do it as many times as we want, or need to.

Shifting our mindset means we get to rediscover our purpose…and find the meaning in our journey. I am personally trying to learn how to embrace the many shifts in my own life, because I want to give myself both the freedom and power that accompany change. I encourage you to do the same. Take time to reflect on the shifts in your life-your friendships, your midlife pains, your identity explorations, and the uncertainty that scares you.

Indeed, transition can be frightening. It's chaotic, it’s clumsy, and sometimes your pants are on backwards—but somehow, the show goes on. And occasionally, you even get applause.

The shift is hard. But it happens.